I guess its getting worse, my eye. I was forced to stop wearing contacts back in march because of my eyes doing this and now my left eye is at it again. Maybe all I need is more sleep, I hope its nothing serious.
But like Ive always said- Id rather go blind than deaf, being a musician and all.
I was cleaning out my closet (seems to be a yearly event) and I found this book I used to read all the time. Its called “Leadership Secrets of Atilla the Hun”. Its a book of principles on how to be a leader in any setting. The old me used to be somewhat good at that. Im reading it again. Ive changed my diet, Ive changed my mindset, Ive read parts of several ”holy books” and have realized what I want in my life. Not love, Not that special someone that makes me feel good, I want peace in my life. There’s always something in life that makes me angry. I want peace, peace of mind. I used to drink a little bit to get that peaceful buzz, I hardly drink anymore. I’ve done a lot of things Id rather forget Ive done to make peace for small amounts of time, but they’ve never worked for more than a night or a few days.
I want to stop wondering how other people see me, I want to stop worrying about screwing up, I want to stop a lot of things that tourcher my mind. I really do. All I want is peace of mind and damn it… Im going to get it. Ive been in a personal revolution this summer and now its time to amp it up a little bit more and achieve exactly what I want.
Ouch, Forgotten is yesterday, Omitted from the memory. Time, Money, Love, Patience, and a soul all thrown out the window. The saving grace that caught the fallen, but never good enough to be remembered. Who's love was so great but yet never mattered and is again forgotten. Thats me
And to think, it all began a year ago today, For a few the road ended and for some the road had just began. June 25th, 2005- A day that will live in emphamy when eight lives changed forever. "The Quad-Date"… And to think how everyone has gone their seperate ways. One man is in tulsa. One girl is in Arkansas. One man is living in sun valley. One girl on her way to moscow. One mans a stoner, Two girls are happily in the arms of new boy-toys and One man- remembers.
And it will be hard to forget.
*Its sad to think that some people have to measure who you are by who you're with. They say they want to be their own person and yet they always have to have that squeeze. Jump from one relationship to the next and then they get tired of the great ones and throw them away and move on to the next un-suspecting/trusting peron and start again. Its happened before, and it will happen again. Its sad*
Chas, Im sorry that our time together didnt mean that much to you (as apparent by your blog). You sure fooled me.
*end transmission*
Ive been reading a lot of my old posts (poems, songs, dynamic one liners, ect ect…) and I never realized how good some of them were. Check them out!
Gotta love em. I mean if we didnt have fat bottom girls who would dance in the rappers videos? Who would want a small tight ass anyway? tight ass's piss me off. So Fat Bottom Girls… You do make the Rockin World Go Round!!
Never again. I wont do it again. When/if the time is right, maybe. But until then- NEVER again.
