The Darkness of the Music of the Night…

I hate being let down like this… but it seems to happen every time. I went out of my way to do things today, being as it is halloween and all, but slowly things fell unravelled and now Im doing nothing tonight.
So, I woke up this morning and skipped my morning class so I could go to caldwell and get the football ticket I had got for a friend I was supposed to have lunch with today but she ended up canceling our lunch date because she wasnt able to have a lunch break today- I find out all this after Ive trecked to and from caldwell.. and skipped class.
But oh well, I still had other things planned for later that day, or so I had thought.
I was going to go to dinner with my roomate Dane and a bunch of our other friends all dressed up as mideval warriors and have a battle in TableRock but at the last minute Dane called it off to go to a movie with his girlfriend instead and in effect dropping our plans for later tonight, which was to go ghost hunting with a group of people that I now have found out dropped the plan eariler this morning.

So now I sit here bored out of my mind and wishing somehow people would stick to the plans that we set long ago. I love halloween… but the trend the past few years has not been so great.

-
Update:  11:30pm  Ok, so tonight  didnt turn out as bad as I had first thought., Monster House is not that great of a movie, but atleast the company was fun.

Just because Its Hinder

You Can do Much Better Than Me
Hinder
I think you can do much better than me..
After all the lies I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be..
I told myself I wouldn’t miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took
That you were looking for
If there’s one memory I don’t want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won’t miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I’m lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would’ve said it’s over
And I can’t pretend that I won’t think about you when I’m older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can’t be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
(You deserve much better than me)

-
The Bold part is the only part of this song that I really want people to hear. Its a great song in all, but its message is in those four lines.

Making my dream take flight

So I was in the shower this morning and all of a sudden I got another great idea for my “Phantastic project”. Im excited at how this “project” is coming together. Im excited because there is a chance that I could possibly take this chance to the next level and make it a reality. That alone makes the constant work Ive put into it over the past two weeks worth it.

Invictus

I heard this poem today… and It has an edge and an attitude that want to have and have people see in me

Invictus
by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever god’s may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

I know things will never be the same as they were

And Im really at odds as to what to say. Anyways- this ones for you even though, well… we’re not the same we were so long ago.

My heart goes out to you, I know its not easy. People and parents can be frustrating, but I know you’re a strong person at the end of the day. Im not going tell you that you need to give more effort, because honestly its not you thats not trying. But there is something I will tell you. In tough times, there are people around you that will give you strength- your friends, your boyfriend, your sister, and your church. There are times I still wish I were one of these people, but at the end of the day we’re so far apart from eachother on so many levels. (But this isnt about me)

I’ll end this with something I wrote long ago, when we were together and you went through something similar to what you’re going through now. Hopefully it will make you feel atleast a little bit better.

The wish I make tonight
originally written September 23, 2005 by Sam Stone III

*Verse 1*
Some people say this is the way it’s supposed to be
But is this how life is supposed to be?
I can’t watch things play out this way
and now there’s only one thing left to say…

*Chorus*
If I could I would take you away
From the life you live and show you a bright new day.
No more living with pain and no more crying nights,
This is the wish I make tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might give you this wish I wish tonight

*Verse 2*
I wish I could be your hero, your superman
and make the other people undersand
that they cant treat you this way
someday, someday they’ll see, but until then-

*Repeat Chorus*

*Verse 3*
No more pain and no more tears,
I want to give you a life with no fear.
I love you and I always will
and on that alone my wish will be fulfilled

*Repeat Chorus*

Down once more…

“Down once more to the dungeons of my black dispair,
Down we plunge towards the prison of my mind,
Down that path into darkness…”

But this time A Creative Genius will surface and take a world by storm.

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Im still hungover…

from all of yesterdays excitment.

…”We love you Blue Thunder!”… 
From all the insane noise that’s what I remember hearing a band cheer before we kicked into Carmina Burana. 

If you’ve never seen a band play “Flight of the Bumble Bee” to open a show, and you didnt catch BSU’s warm up, then you missed a truely special moment. The crowd erupted about six times during that song alone, and we weren’t even moving!

I remember not even being able to hear Tomasini count off the opener and going to a scilent  count because the intesity of the noise.

I could see the crowd dancing in the stands as we danced on the field. Thats the moment I knew we’d connected with our audience. They loved us, and we loved every moment of it.

I talked to about 8 or 9 band directors and they all said the same thing to me. “You guys were hot tonight and you’re even better than last year”

The only thing that saddend me was that we didnt run out of the tunnel… but hey, thats not necessarly a bad thing… maybe next year we’ll come through the crowd… who knows..