Exert from a future comedy routine

“Here’s what I don’t understand about women. They always want to be my friend. But JUST my friend. I’ve got plenty of Girl- *space* Friends, but what I really need is a Girlfriend. One word, not two. And people, my GIRL- FRIENDS, keep telling me, ‘Any girl would die to have a guy like you,’ and my response to this is- ‘Well, where can I find these suicidal girls?’ Seriously, I would like to know.”

Mark my words, I will use this in a stand up routine one day- you heard it here first.

Protected: Looking down at the Sky

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Life is good…

Till I fuck something up and end up in an isolated hell.
This may get ugly, but its time to have a good rant….

Of Grenades and Roses

In one hand- A Grenade.
In the other- A Rose.

Why do we do this to each other?

Johnny Tsunami 2?

More like Johnny Tsunami Too Far Disney!! Quite trying to wrench out just that much more from your Original Hits. Johnny Tsunami 2 isn’t the worst Disney sequal they’ve ever produced… but its about three or four years too late and they really should have just left Johnny Tsunami alone in the first place…

Update: Ok so its not called “Johnny Tsunami 2″, its called “Johnny Kapahalla: Back On Board”. All the same- its a sequal to the original… just wanted to clarify.

Economically Speaking

In the economy- if something is short in supply, its price goes up. Im starting to feel if my price is pretty low to some people… Like I’m becoming a common good that people don’t value as much as others instead of a specialty good that is coveted. It’s not that Im not wanted… Im just not in demand- which is where I think I should be.
Dont get me wrong, there are plenty of people that make me feel wanted, but some of those that are valued customers are making me feel pretty low. Like what I do or say doesnt mean much.
Its almost like my product is “over-exposed” and my target market is saturated.. the only way to fix that is shorten their available supply or cut them off all together till there is a balance.
I normally wouldn’t have a problem doing this, being a hardcore economist and all- but seeing as they mean something too me, being valued customers that have invested in me time and time again- its really hard. Everytime I work myself up- I give in and the market stays the same.
I guess Im afraid to take an economic risk that could create an economic boom.. or an economic crash. Im not sure Im willing to take that kind of a risk just yet, but according to my chart… somethings gotta give to make this economy go.
So Economically Speaking- you know what I mean?

WTF is wrong with me?

I mean seriously.
Apparently Im the only guy around that didnt demand his “shit” back after any of my breakups. This isnt coming from the conversation I had earlier this evening, but actually about 20 mins ago and I guess it really is important to get “your shit” back for some people.
It all depends on how you look at it I guess.
I mean, Id rather have my ex’s remember me than remove myself completely from their lives. Maybe its more about leaving a lasting effect every time they’d open the drawer and realize they still have one of my shirts that they go back to the time we were together and remember the good times, or realize my name is written on the inside of a book they have because I wanted them to expand their mind by reading a book of mine that I didnt get back. I guess some guys dont want that.

I do want to say this isnt a personal attack on any of my ex’s, but a rant on my roommate who is being AMAZINGLY stubborn about this topic with his ex, who is also my friend.

I mean some things my ex’s still possess have some meaning and memories to me too, but Im ok that my wardrobe has a few less shirts and that Ive already replaced the books Ive given away because of the reasons stated above- It doesnt bother me! SO I have to ask WTF is wrong with me?

Does a hat you never wear really mean that much to you- or is it the principle of her having the hat? WTF is it?

Here’s My Musical Story

“The Day the Music Died” I climed the “Stairway to Heaven” only to find that on one was home, So I took the “Highway to Hell” to go “Runnin with the Devil”, but “The Devil went down to Georgia”, so I returned to heaven and started “Knockin on Heavens Door” and when no one answered I cried “Tears in Heaven”. But then I heard someone say, “Hey Jude” and I looked up and thought “Great Balls of Fire! That “Dude Looks Like A Lady!”. This “Simple Man” then said “Walk this Way” but I always seemed to be “Two Steps Behind”  as I traveled with this “King of the Road”.  “All the small things” started to “Come together” as I realized before that day, I had “Too Much Time on My hands” “In The End” of my life that I didnt do anything with. When the “Blues Traveler” and I reached “Sweet Home Alabama” I asked him to “Bring Me To Life” So I could be a “Blue Collar Man” and experience what “Livin on the Edge” was like. He agreed as long as I helped him kick the “Cocaine Blues” so he could “Walk the Line” and be with his “Pride and Joy”.

to be continued…