I posted this a little over a year ago, and in light of George Carlin’s passing I feel it is only appropriate to repost it.
This one is for you, George.
Please read- it’s good. It got to me and thus the reason I’m passing it on. If you dont read it-
Who cares.
Read more…
Today is the end. Ive been fighting one idea for so long… slowly giving in bit by bit, until now. Its funny how my father was able to help me see what my mother wanted to say but couldn’t. He didn’t say anything profound… all he said was “Tough Day?” and give me a real hug. That broke me down and thats what caused me to realize what Ive denied these past two weeks.
It wasn’t me.
I cant fix whats broken. (Though I was told it was noble to try)
She doesn’t care.
Those aren’t the only things that Ive realized… Ive got to stop blogging for awhile. Ive been trying to provoke a response from people, mostly her, but the thing about blogging is- it’s just words and you cant feel what emotions may, or may not be behind them. This, blogging to provoke a response, has been my biggest mistake of this whole situation. Thus the reason I’m going stop for awhile.
As Ive said… Today is the end, the sun has set. But the sun will rise tomorrow on a new day that Ive been waiting for- for a long time.
Love and Peace till the next time
-Sam
I was honest tonight… and I will continue to be now.
Ive changed my life so much and so fast in the past few weeks its not even funny. I’m impassioned because my life is a wreck and no- I didn’t use the word impassioned wrong. This past week it’s felt like EVERYTHING has changed, and not all for the best- so now I’m impassioned to bring myself back.
I wont be the Sam I was before- because I cant be. And I definitely wont be the same Sam I was this past week. I’m just going to be me, not malicious, not vengeful.. just me. I wont be rude… I just wont say anything at all.
I’m in this wreck because of decisions Ive made and because I let someone else have all the power. Now… I’m taking everything back. I’m separating the lives I live… Who I am here and now is not who I will be at work, whichever job that may be. I’m capable of so much more and stronger than I have in the past while. I cant take back the moves Ive made or things Ive done that have gotten me to this point- so now I’m going to build upon what Ive got and go from there.
This separation, on the inside, isn’t going to feel very pleasant, but it’s going to feel a whole lot better than it would have if I hadn’t decided to take back control tonight.
Ive accepted the fact that some people wont like what I say- like that fact that I feel all kisses are special. I’m not sorry I feel that way. I’m going to stand by that no matter what.
Ive changed my life so much already to make other people happy- I’m not going to lose my convictions to do the same. If people aren’t willing to change even a little bit for me after Ive changed so much for them, then I’m simply going to stop changing.
I know what I’m saying and I know what I’ll have to do if I really mean it, but I’m okay with that for now.
Tonight, this is going to be hard, and I may regret it tomorrow, and maybe even the next day- but eventually I will heal from what Ive done this week and I will be stronger.. better.. and hopefully happier.
-God, Grant me the Courage to change the things I can, Serenity to accept the things I cant, and the Wisdom to know the difference. –
“Slip out the back before they knew you were there-
At worst you’ll see that nobody cared.
Cuz you dont want to be around when it all goes down
Even heros know when to be scared”
-Fort Minor, Slip out the Back
I guess that’s the difference between a Hero and a Legend. A legend would want to be there when it all goes down no matter how bad the situation could get.
“Remember kid, Hero’s get remembered- but Legends Never Die.”
-Babe Ruth, The sandlot
“If Everyone Cared”
by: Nickelback
From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you’d be mine
But here we are, we’re here tonight
Singing Amen, I, I’m alive
Singing Amen, I, I’m alive
[Chorus:]
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we’d see the day when nobody died
And I’m singing
Amen I, Amen I, I’m alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I’m alive
And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We’ll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along
Singing Amen, I, I’m alive
Singing Amen, I, I’m alive
(I’m alive)
[Chorus x2]
And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we’d see the day when nobody died
[Chorus]
We’d see the day, we’d see the day
When nobody died
We’d see the day, we’d see the day
When nobody died
We’d see the day when nobody died.
-
Throw off your old nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. – Ephesians 4:22-23 NLT
Its almost christmas time… and one of my best friends will not be here to chill with me this year (or next) and Im just so… Its been 6 months since he’s last been in Caldwell. Time has flowen by so fast but there’s still another 18 months. He was there for me after my breakup.. he always listend to me and was there for me even if I was an asshole to him at times. He’s one of the 4 guys I consider my Brothers and thus an extentsion of my own Family.
I dont know why Its hit me right now… but at last Ive slowed down enough to take time and remember him. I know I will eventually see him again but being far away from someone you care so much about and not hearing their voice for so long and only communicating between letters and e-mails, its painful how much I miss him. Im glad he’s doing exactly what he wants and if nothing else thats the best reason to be his friend and support him.
And whiles he’s away Im going to make him proud- just like he’s making me. I want everything I do from here on out to be a reflection of me and in honor of him. I love my bro.
